big baby talyor problem (跑色)

any one has a big baby that has brown spot on the neck? like 'run color' (跑色).

Toot Tone

There's a new product in the market which can save you from an embarrassing situation. The manufacturer is looking for an agent here. Anyone interested?

Farts sounded like handphone ringing tone ?? Has to insert "bullet" into bottom ! Different tone, too. Want to try marketing it?

A Nun at Hooters

A nun, badly needing to use to the restroom, walked into a
local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud
conversation, and every once in a while the lights would
turn off. Each time the lights would go out, the place would
erupt into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the nun,
the room went dead silent.

She walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use
the restroom?"

The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you that there
is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf."

"Well, in that case I'll just look the other way," said the nun.

So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the
restaurant. After a few minutes, she came back out, and the
whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud
round of applause.

She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't
understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went
to the restroom?"

"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender.
"Would you like a drink?"

"But, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.


"You see," laughed the bartender, "every time someone lifts
the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out."

Reason why I never visit rich people again

I recently paid a visit to a millionaire's house, and ended up not having anything to drink despite the offer. Below is how the offer was made to me:

Question : "What would you like to have ..Fruit juice, Soda, Tea,Chocolate, Milo, or Coffee?"
Answer: "tea please"

Question : " Ceylon tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey bush tea, Ice tea or green tea ?"
Answer : "Ceylon tea "

Question : "How would you like it ? black or white ?"
Answer : "white"

Question : "Milk, Whitener, or Condensed milk ?"
Answer : "With milk "

Question : "Goat milk, Camel milk or cow milk?"
Answer : "With cow milk please."

Question : " Milk from Freezeland cow or Afrikaner cow?"
Answer: " Aaggman I will take it black. "

Question : " Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?"
Answer : "With sugar"

Question :" Beet sugar or cane sugar ?"
Answer : "Cane sugar "

Question :" White , brown or yellow sugar ?"
Answer : "Aagman ! forget about tea just give me a glass of water instead."

Question : "Mineral water or still water ? "
Answer : "Mineral water"

Question : "Flavoured or non-flavoured ?"
Answer : "Gee! I give up just forget about everything."

Tags: jokes, humor

Fun with Treadmills

Just for fun, take a look at this music video which is done all on treadmills. If you ever workout on a treadmill, you'll appreciate this. Even if you don't, it's good entertainment.

Kazuko Uehara -san

What is your Ninja Burger Name?


[ Source ]

Corporate Cultures

good one..... wahaha...

Hossan Leong

creative song with catchy tune.

Pet Lovers

Take a look, if you love animals,

you know the cuteness of them...

"Pet Lovers" well express it.

Bowling

no more carring heavy bowling ball around.
All u need to do is wind up the ball,aim and shoot.
It's a joy to see it STRIKE.

Great for bowling friend.









[source]

first kiss

So, it's your first kiss and several questions might come to your mind :-

Is it the right time ?

Is anyone watching ?

Does your partner even want to ?

Is your breath fresh ?

And... Should you use some tongue ?

Then you lean in and just go for it !


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Top 10 Excuses Made by Programmers

10. "I haven't touched that module in weeks!"

9. "It must be a hardware problem."

8. "Somebody must have changed my code."

7. "Did you check for a virus on your system?"

6. "You must have the wrong version."

5. "That's weird..."

4. "There must be something wrong with your data"

3. "It's never done that before."

2. "It worked yesterday."and the best one

1. "It works on my machine"

Because I 'm a Man

Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call a road service until long after hypothermia has set in.

Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink beer.

Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't an issue.

Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "Cumin" or "Tofu". For all I know these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which "feminine hygiene product" is a euphemism.

Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.

Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator).

Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The answer is always either sex, racing, or football, though I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't.

Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for mother's day is okay, I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my Mom too!!

Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.

Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?

Because I'm a man, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the gardening, the cleaning, dishes, banking, shoping, bills, take care of children, go to work - make same money as me and I'll do the rest........

The Secret To A Long Marriage

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. "What a peaceful and loving couple." A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.

Well, it dates back to our honeymoon," explained the man. We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon on a pack mule. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's mule stumbled.

My wife quietly said, ‘that's once.’ We proceeded a little further and the mule stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly said, ‘That's twice.’ We hadn't gone a half-mile when the mule stumbled the third time. My wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the mule dead.

I started an angry protest over her treatment of the mule, when she looked at me, and quietly said, ‘That's once.’

And we lived happily ever after.

Number of Billionaires by Country

I will be the first one in Singapore. [Source]

Praise God.

Sofa Transformer!!

I think this is one of the great idea. It's a combo Sofa/Bunk bed.
It even has a ladder. Check it out...

Want to be a server guy?

Board Dots

Looks really simple and easy, but leaves you pulling your hair out in the end.
Try and fill all the empty spaces by clicking them.

play

Funny Ping Pong

This is really creative! Awesome. I will oso give 10/10.

当你孤单你会想起谁

歌手：张栋梁




Nice song, one of those song i will sing if i am go to Karoke. If not always sing 陈百强, 阿伦, 刘文正,people say you si bei old fashion....wahaha.

你的心情总在飞
什么事都要去追
想抓住一点安慰
你总是喜欢在人群中徘徊
你最害怕孤单的滋味

你的心那么脆,一碰就会碎
经不起一点风吹
你的身边总是要许多人陪
你最害怕每天的天黑
但是天总会黑,人总要离别
谁也不能永远陪谁
而孤单的滋味,谁都要面对
不只是你我会感觉到疲惫

当你孤单你会想起谁
你想不想找个人来陪
你的快乐伤悲 只有我能体会
让我再陪你走一回
MUSIC

Where to find such guy huh?

Friend send 10 Ways To Win Her Heart article to me even i am married for 13 years. Interesting.

I sometimes observed a couple, the girl very pretty, good figure and very chio BUT hor ….. the man besides her, Wa-lau, not good looking leh. I wondered how then can a man attract a woman. What points will u consider when u look for a husband?

Well, that articles tell us some points from the world’s prospective.

IMHO, I listed my points:-

1. Spiritual
2. Handsome Face
3. Rich
4. Muscular Body
5. Able to Sweet Talk
6. A good Cook
7. Musical Talent - Able to play guitar, piano, violin etc
8. Able to sing
9. Big Expensive Car
10. Humorous
11. Smart
12. Caring

Hmmn, let me see when I was young, how many of the above points do I have:-

1. Spiritual : I became a Christian when I was in Poly, young and green . NO

2. Handsome Face : not very handsome la. NO

3. Rich : Young time where got money? Always money not enough. 没有

4. Muscular Body : before army where got solid muscle with 6-pack?? BO

5. Sweet Talk : so shy !! can’t even talk in front of girl. NO

6. Good Cook : Can only cook egg. FAIL

7. Musical Talent : start learning guitar in poly. Only know Em and Am chord then. Now better already after so much coaching from Edwin and Marcus. YES ? OK la

8. Able to sing : Can sing but sometime need ladder to reach high note. YES

9. Big Expensive Car : Young time where got money to buy car, big bus can or not? FAIL

10. Humorous : some people say that I am witty. Chim – (last time england no good, quickly check )- is a form of intellectual humor. A wit is someone skilled in making witty remarks, typically in conversation and spontaneously- OK

11. Smart : Don't think so … but no sub paper during poly. average IQ only. NO

12. Caring : Hmmn maybe I was caring towards my cha-bo-lang, this one must ask her .

So, looking at all 12 points, me maybe got 4/12. What yrs or yr man score? I think Edmund score is 10/12 ..

Whether handsome, caring or not… One thing I know is 情人眼里出西施.

烧纸钱

今日,很多人喜欢把纸钱的东西烧给死者。到底烧钱是怎样来的呢？

兩棲女性 :燒衣故事

我们知道，纸是后汉蔡伦发明的。当时他大量制造纸，以致生产过剩，后来他和他的妻子商量，他装病，向朝庭称病疗养，他的妻子把纸剪成长方形，计有几百扎，纸上涂以银箔。她一面宣告蔡伦病重，同时做了一个无底棺材。不久，他宣告蔡伦死了，她便到棺前不断烧纸。众人问她为什么要在棺前不断烧纸。她假称：「蔡伦不醒人事，曾几次苏醒，说：“他到了人地生疏之地，遇见了个素不相认识的人，送他一笔旅费，叫他返回人间，他看见所赠的纸币是阴间的纸币。蔡伦预先嘱咐她，不要把他埋葬，只要不断烧纸六天，他就会复活了。”他说完，气就断了。」于是他的妻子一直在棺前烧纸六天，第七天蔡伦「复活」了。他的邻居非常惊奇，问他到底是怎么一回事，蔡伦便称：他曾被凶汉带走，经一官厅，被送入牢狱。他把一些旅费送给狱卒。狱卒带他见阎王，途中遇见阴官，立即送给他一些纸钱，所以很顺利地到了阎王面前。阎王一查生死簿，说他善事多，可以延长寿命，所以他能复活了。

这件事一传开以后，蔡伦的纸就畅销了。可惜今日迷信鬼神的人不明真相，以为烧纸钱给死人，死人在阴间就有钱用。后来有人烧纸衣给死人穿，烧纸轿车给死人坐。纸是世上的东西，经火烧后，化为灰烬，仍存于地球上，不会跑到地球内里。纸轿、纸车、纸衣，他们谁也不要，何况是死了的人，他们怎能用这些东西呢？信耶稣的人，死后到天家享福，不用地上的物质；不信的人，死后到阴间受苦，什么都不能享用。纸的东西不能经水，也不能经火，久放便变黄或发霉，谁也不要，鬼神也不用纸的东西。所以烧纸确是浪费无益，只有胡涂人才做这样的事。

有得赚 !!

HR called me about my hospitalization claim for my wife and her first word was " your claim is settled and still can earn ah". This is the first time i heard can claim $9xx ( deposite back to CPF) and $200 per day, so for 2 days the total 赚 is $400. PTL!

Claiming insurance not that easy ok. First u have to give a form for the doctor to fillup; must paid some more... arburthen? $75 ah!... then hor the insurance company required the 'Final Itemised Hospital Bill', so got to call hospital again to call them to sent to my house; they cannot sent to office address, must be personal home address. All paper work ok liao.... wait wait and after 3 mths finally settled. PTL!

Impossible Mission

Pick Aloysius and Carlin almost everyday, except Friday, from School.
One day, Aloysius asked "Dad, what do u call a flatted batman and Robin?".

"Err.... can't think. i am drving( good excuse). what?"

"Flatman and ribbon"....wahaha... ( u guess correctly?)

Really funny, sometimes i wonder where did he get all this jokes from.

This remind me of Tom Cruise, who can "Flew" from an exploding helicopter,
climb mountain with bare hands and leapt from the top of a skyscraper.....
but couldn't open the door of a car to let his wife out. LOL

Maybe he needed his stuntman to open that door.

Lets eat out

The question "what's for dinner?" is the most asked question.

Aloysius will always answer "chicken cutlet rice". Sat's nite, we decided to try out bark cafe along upper changi road North. They serve great food at reasonable prices!

This time round, we have crayfish hor fun

Aloysiu and Carlin : spaghetti

Our side : Chicken wings.

Steamboat Personality Test

I heard of many type of personality test but this is kind of weird. I tried it out and i thought you might want to try it as well :)

By the way, I am of type C.

What kind of season will you enjoy eating steamboat?

A. Winter ( Goto Qn 2 )

B. Summer ( Goto Qn 5 )

C. No matter what season ( Goto Qn 1 )

1. Do you like to have some sauce on your food?

A. Like ( Goto Qn 2 )

B. Don't like ( Goto Qn 5 )

2. Will you add eggs in your steamboat soup?

A. Yes ( Goto Qn 3 )

B. No ( Goto Qn 6 )

3. If you find a cigarette butt in ur steamboat food, what will you do?

A. Quarrel with the boss and request another new one. ( Goto Qn 13 )

B. Stop eating and just pay and go. ( Goto Qn 10 )

4. What is the main point you will consider for choosing a steamboat restaurant?

A. Famous ( Goto Qn 7 )

B. Reasonable prices ( Goto Qn 8 )

5. If the steamboat restaurant has a new product of steamboat, will you dare to try?

A. Yes ( Goto Qn 6 )

B. No ( Goto Qn 8 )

6. How many people do you like to have your steamboat meal with?

A. 2-3 soul mates ( Goto Qn 9 )

B. A big group of friends ( Goto Qn 3 )

7. If the steamboat restaurant is very crowded, will you wait for a seat or go to another place?

A. Wait ( Goto Qn 11 )

B. Proceed to another one ( Goto Qn 12 )

8. What kind of food you like to add?

A. Noodle ( Goto Qn 9 )

B. Vermicilli "Tang hoon" ( Goto Qn 7 )

9. Will you drink the soup first or finish all the ingredients in the bowl then drink the soup?

A. Drink the soup first ( Goto Qn 10 )

B. Eat the ingredients first ( Goto Qn 12 )

10. If the boss tells you that you must add some SPECIAL and ODD ingredient in the soup to make it more delicious, will you dare to add?

A. Yes ( Goto Qn 17 )

B. No ( Goto Qn 13 )

11. Will you drink a cup of cooling water after you finish this steamy hot meal?

A. Yes ( Goto Qn 15 )

B. No ( Goto Qn 14 )

12. When you are having your steamboat, do you put in your meat first or put in later?

A. Put it once the steamb oat start ( Goto Qn 15 )

B. Later part then put ( Goto Qn 11 )

13. Do you like to put all types of food at one go into the steamboat or have it put in one type by one type?

A. All ( Goto Qn 17 )

B. One type at a time ( Goto Qn 16 )

14. What drink will you like to go with your meal?

A. Oolong Tea ( Goto Qn 16 )

B. Plum juice ( You are Type A )

15. Do you like to have steamboat at home or outside?

A. Home ( Goto Qn 16 )

B. Outside ( Goto Qn 14 )

16. Will you mind if another customer is standing behind you, waiting for you while you are finishing your food?

A. Mind ( You are Type B )

B. Don't mind ( You are Type C )

17. You are already very full with your meal but the boss offer to let you have another steamboat meal, will you eat it?

A. Yes ( You are Type D )

B. No ( Goto Qn 16 )



****************************************************

RESULTS....

TYPE A

Shy, a bit of an introvert. You are more stubborn and like to stay alone quietly at home. To you, talking to strangers is a hard thing so you have not much friends. But you will still have some soulmates. You need to treasure people who care and love you. You are more interested in your own matters, you will try your very best to achieve your target. But you can't do everything alone, and just depend on yourself, learn to open up and accept other opinions. Try to get along with different people.

TYPE B

You are a more active person, drawing a clear line between happiness and unhappiness. You are more quick-tempered. If you encounter things you like, you will do it without second thought. But once you encounter things that you hate, you will wish to get out of it as soon as possible. As you are a person of your own views, the friends you tend to have will be of the same pattern. But once good friends, you will understand them a lot and go all the way to help then. Friends are very dependent on you. As you are too emotional, you may make a storm out of a teacup with your friends. You must learn to do things in order and not give up easily. You can try making friends with those you don't think you can get along with, don't stick with the same category. This will make you more popular and charming.

TYPE C

Gentle like a lamb. You have a high level of adaptance power, easy to get along with people. Very popular in social life but seems that no one will talk bad about you. You hate to have conflicts with people so you always try to adapt to everyone. You treat every person differently. To look at the bright side, you adapt easily. But to look at the dark side, you lack of character, although you are one big nice guy but you lack of charm. On the surface, you have a lot of friends but once you have troubles, you lack of soulmates to help you around. You must try to express yourself more and be more decisive. In this way, you can understand yourself more.

TYPE D

You are stubborn, like to go in circles and don't get to the point. Once you decide on something, no one can change your mind. You are a good leader in a group so you win a lot of trust from your friends. But as you are too persistent on your own thinking, you neglect other people's suggestions therefore you can easily make enemies. Although it is good to maintain your own character but it doesn't mean you totally ignore other people's thoughts and feelings. You will let people think you are hard to handle and you will lose friends gradually and may end up alone. You need to learn to accept other people's opinion. This will make your social circle bigger and you will understand yourself better.

Smart egg

It settled in my spirit too when Pastor mentioned that egg is good. I love to eat half boiled egg since I was young. I think Don su su like it too.

If u like but duno know how to prepare one ‘swee swee’ one, u can check out this smart egg.

The smart egg that shows you when it's boiled to perfection.

A self-timing egg imbued with the powers of heat-sensitive invisible ink that turns black the minute that it is ready. All you need to do is decide whether you prefer your eggs soft, medium or hard-boiled, and buy accordingly.

24/7 work

ell, I am back to work after taking a day leave and today is the first day of TS audit. I got to make sure everything is in proper order; backup, printing, can read and sent mails and even server room’s temp control …. Yes!. no joke.

This 24/7 work ethic is getting common nows-a-day. My boss called me yesterday to iron out some last mins procedures. Bosses has the ability to contact you anytime they want, thanks…or no thanks to technology.

For me as an IT support, weekend and after office hours are the only time I can upgrade servers, rewire cable etc. So got no choice. But really don’t like ppl to call you when you are on leave or even outside Singapore( for holiday ) . That’s why I always switch off my phone whenever I am oversea....LOL.

One funny things I observed is that the Network/systems something have problem when you are not around in the office. Maybe becos we are light and a blessing to the company. When we are not around, the blessing and favour is ‘gone’.

a cup of kopi

Thank God this have not happen to me before .... Enjoy your coffee.




Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"

Tech Rep: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"

Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period.
How do I go about getting that fixed?"

Tech Rep: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"

Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."

Tech Rep: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am.
Did you receive this as part of a promotional, at a trade show?
How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"

Caller: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a promotional.
It just has '4X' on it."

At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he couldn't stand it.
The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder,
and snapped it off the drive.

My Mouse ...

ne of the most challenging task as an IT Support ..... hmm must be Regional phone support. Becos you really don’t know what is happening at the other end.

You say something and they might take a while to understand and do it. That’s way I use simple English … LOL. Even simple English to a Japanese or Koreans' colleagues is oso difficult.

Lots of Few times .... feel like banging against the wall … selah!

IT Support! look what the virus did to my mouse

What do u want to do

Inspired by our friends Edmund and Don, who had found their dreams.

Is there something you've always wanted to do/try, but know you'll probably never get the chance? This is my lists ......

(1) Owner of a computer shop/internet cafe
Fxing up and assemble a PC is not a problem to me. I love to play around with hardwares/software. Or Maybe co-own a cozy cafe......where computer game lovers can play game; blogger can chitchat/msn/blog and have a nice kopi (with muffins).

( 2 ) Comedian actor
I know this sounds crazy but If I am handsome or thick skin enough I will have tried it out nong nong ago.

(3) Gospel singer
Yes , if call by God. I will mostly sing Cantonese and Chinese songs. Like those songs presented in mandarin services. Something like林义忠 style and then later give alter call.


... And perhaps one day I just might give one of them a shot!

Ticket to my concert